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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Everchanging



I die before I go to sleep because I don't want to be the same in the morning. I keep adding and taking away from what I am, never the same person when I go to sleep as when I wake up. It's because I know I can be better than this. If not, I'd probably have to kill myself.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want

This Song by The Smiths is how I feel right now...



Good times for a change
see, the luck I've had
can make a good man
turn bad

So please please please
let me, let me, let me
let me get what I want
this time

Haven't had a dream in a long time
see, the life I've had
can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time
Lord knows it would be the first time 

They Speak But Don't Know

Someone made a comment that angered everything capable of thought within me. When C said we (C, R, A and I) were sophomore Literature majors, in response a guy said, "Oh, nothing practical."

I could not fathom the stupidity his mouth was spewing! I'm not a Literature major myself, I do Political Science, but if I wasn't studying what I do Literature would be my major of choice. Sometimes I even regret not pursuing Literature, but that's a tale for another post.

When people think of someone studying Literature they think either: you'll be unemployed, be a failed writer or be a teacher... Nothing's wrong with teaching actually. Anyway... He said he studied Management and Economics and he seemed quite pleased by this. Seeing his surprise at seeing someone studying Lit I was expecting him to be a man of science! The natural sciences viz. chemistry, physics etc. but no. 

A tried explaining that Literature is more than sitting with a book and it teaches you things you never would have thought to try to learn. Even today, as I excitedly told C about my Political Philosophy course this semester some of the things I relayed to her she knew already. Where did that knowledge come from?? Her Literature class!!

A's message fell on deaf ears because he went on to say he hated reading and there are better things to do than read a book. I wonder how he expects to get his B.Sc. While he prattled on I immersed myself in listening to the music of Oasis and messaging someone on bbm. I was quite upset and I knew if I spoke I'd slip into French and flip out. 

There's more to this story... 
This exchange was beginning to seem more like an interview/survey than a conversation. A and R asked if we were being recorded, because they could see a green light flashing on the little camera he was seeing and his conversation style felt forced, unnatural. Insert uncomfortable pause. After that he said, "Okay. No more questions." and left.

Even as I typed that I was upset all over again because day after day people focus on the wrong things.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

As Dawn Approaches

Birds will sing their songs
Useless on these dreary days -
Ne'er the flowers dance.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Days Are Less Than I Would Like

Today was... blah.
First class (Caribbean Government and Politics) Dull. Really dull.
Second class (Western Political Philosophy) was simply enthralling but when it ended, I ended as well.
The library didn't have the book I wanted to take out and I could go on and on.
At least I had one of my dearest friends - my ipod. Without it I would surely explode! Beethoven and I had quite a time while I went about my day detached from most of what was going on around me.
I really wasn't looking forward to seeing anyone. At all. But at least I got to see C! Haven't seen her in a while ad I love her >:(
The rest of my day really isn't worth mentioning...
Except... My face lit up. Once. And only once. But now I hate you. So it doesn't matter really.


Oh! It will not go well for the next person that asks me if I will wear black almost every single day. Does my wearing black really offend people that much? I'll wear what I like, thanks. I always get: 'Are you trying to make a statement?', 'Are you goth??', 'Are you emo?', 'Are you depressed?' ...I'm me. Shut up.


Anyway... Gossip Girl started, tennis is showing, I have work to do, I'm hungry as shit...
but I can't be fucked to do any of that.
Instead I'm reading 'As You Like It' with a Light in my hand...
I'm pleased for the moment.



Which reminds me! I NEED to get my hands on 'The Isis Papers' by Frances Cress Welsing. 
And! 'The Stolen Philosophy' by George G. M. James